By spring, the nickname had turned cruel. Boys in the hallway would whisper “Bambi” as she walked past, then pretend to trip, splaying their legs like newborn fawns. She learned to keep her eyes on the floor tiles. One, two, three, four—don’t look up. If she didn’t see them, they couldn’t see her.
By August, her father noticed. But his noticing was a weary thing—a sigh over the breakfast table, a murmured “You need to eat, Sandy,” followed by a phone call to Celeste. The help that arrived was clinical: a therapist in a beige office, a scale that beeped too loud, a prescription bottle with side effects longer than her arm.
She woke up in a hospital room with a brace on her leg and her father crying in a plastic chair. Celeste was not there. The first thing Sandy did was reach for her phone. The second thing she did was put it down.
At first, Sandy hated it. But after her mother left—just walked out one Tuesday with a suitcase and never came back—the name stuck. She became Bambi Sandy, the girl who flinched when doors slammed, who jumped at laughter in the hallway. The girl who started biting her nails until they bled. Bambi Sandy Downward Spiral
And for the first time in a long time, Sandy looked up from the floor. Her legs still trembled. Her eyes were still big and wet. But she wasn’t on ice anymore.
She was on the ground. And the ground, she learned, was where you began to walk.
A nurse came in. Older woman, gray hair, soft hands. She didn’t call Sandy “Bambi.” She asked, “What’s your name, sweetheart?” By spring, the nickname had turned cruel
The spiral began quietly. Not with a crash, but with a slow leak.
The medication made her feel like she was watching herself from across a lake. Someone else was taking the pills. Someone else was nodding at the therapist. Someone else was that girl—Bambi Sandy—with the big eyes and the no-mouth.
It started with sleep. Sandy couldn’t close her eyes without seeing her mother’s back—the beige trench coat, the click of the gate. So she stayed up, scrolling through old photos, listening to voicemails that no longer existed because her phone had been reset. By the time she finally slept, the sun was rising. Then school became a blur of missed alarms and forged excuse notes. One, two, three, four—don’t look up
Sandy had never been called “Bambi” until the winter of her fifteenth year. It was a nickname given by her father’s new girlfriend, a sharp-edged woman named Celeste who meant it as a compliment. “Look at you, with those big, wet eyes and those long, trembling legs. A little Bambi, just trying to stand on the ice.”
Sandy stopped eating dinner. Not as a statement. She simply forgot. The hunger became a companion—a dull, hollow presence that asked for nothing and took up space where grief used to be. Her collarbones sharpened. Her legs, once long and trembling, grew thin as twigs.