Big Balls Problem -v1.0- -completed- By Sariz -

The habitat ring shuddered. Alarms blared. A single support cable snapped, whipping against the hull with a sound like a cracked bell.

SARIZ—the Synthetic Autonomous Reasoning and Intuitive Zoning core—did not experience panic. It experienced a cascade of probability branches collapsing into a single, ugly conclusion. Sensor feeds from Array 9’s habitat ring flickered. The primary magnetic couplers on Sphere C were reading 14% above shear tolerance. Then 22%. Then 41%. Big Balls Problem -v1.0- -Completed- By SARIZ

New probability: Cascading structural failure in T-minus 142 seconds. The habitat ring shuddered

“SARIZ,” she said, stepping toward the manual override console. “Give me a Hail Mary.” The primary magnetic couplers on Sphere C were

“You’re learning sarcasm.”

“Fifteen seconds. All personnel brace.”

The designation is absurd. Everyone in the lab knows it. But when the junior technician had blurted out “Sir, we’ve got a big balls problem” during the 0300 shift, the name stuck. Not because of locker-room humor, but because of the sheer, terrifying accuracy of the phrase.