“And you?” Sakura asked her master.
Sakura’s eye twitched. “You want us to fight for content?”
Tsunade leaned back, crossing her arms. For a moment, the legendary Sannin looked almost amused. “Alright. Here’s the deal. One week. We produce a pilot. Shizune handles production, Ino handles distribution, Temari handles PR. Sakura, you’re the host. Hinata, you’re the wholesome B-roll. Tenten, you get one (1) explosive demonstration per episode.”
“Eight legendary kunoichi,” Tsunade announced, a wicked smile playing on her lips. “One kitchen. No weapons. Only spice.” “And you
Somewhere in the distance, Naruto sneezed. He was filming a ramen-eating challenge for his own channel. It had four views.
“Seventeen is generous,” drawled a voice from the doorway. Tsunade, the Fifth Hokage (retired, though no one dared say it to her face), swept in with Shizune trailing behind, arms full of contracts. “When I was your age, we healed people because they were dying, not for likes.”
“I want you to debate ,” Ino corrected. “Conflict is engagement. Engagement is revenue. Revenue buys more explosive tags for Tenten.” For a moment, the legendary Sannin looked almost amused
Across the table, Hinata Hyuga politely sipped her matcha, her Byakugan deactivated but her focus sharp. “Your lighting was too clinical, Sakura-chan. Soft natural light by the hospital window works better. Also, you forgot the #HealingHands trend.”
Tenten nodded vigorously.
Sakura Haruno slammed her laptop shut. “I’m telling you, the algorithm hates medical ninjutsu. I posted a flawless chakra scalpel tutorial and got seventeen likes. Seventeen!” One week
“You also gambled away your village’s emergency fund,” Sakura muttered.
Shizune, ever the loyal assistant, handed out glossy documents. The header read: KUNAI OR KITCHEN? – A Culinary Combat Competition .
Before anyone could object, the tea house door burst open. Ino Yamanaka strode in like she owned the place—because she partially did. Her entertainment agency, Yamanaka Media Minds , had recently signed half of the active kunoichi roster.